JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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