Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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