Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize