did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.