I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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