What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
