I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
