how can u be prego again
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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