2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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