the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
