I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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