And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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