Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
