You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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