this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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