sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
