The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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