Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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