So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
