Sry I called you an 8
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
