He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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