I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
