reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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