You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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