It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
