I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
