North Korea, Best Korea!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
