i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Randomize
