I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
