apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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