I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
