She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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