Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
