No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Panties = found
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