dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
