Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want to be your penis for a week.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
