Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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