I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
