I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
