wakey wakey hands off snakey
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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