are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
