I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
