Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
