the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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