The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
