Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
