i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
