so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
