Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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