I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
