quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
