hell yes lets make some ravioli
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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