i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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