I forgot how hot balto sounded
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
