why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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