i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
