We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
