I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
