So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dick very happy bro
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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