Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize