y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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