His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
