You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
