I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
